Love is not enough

A terrifying thought. She whispered:

“Love is not enough”.

We often have in our life that deep feeling of affection for someone. We love our family, our partners or children. We think it will last forever and that loving is enough to keep people around us. However, it is not true.

Love is a romantic idea, looking great in the movies. But does it guarantee happiness? Let’s find out.

Parents

Once I became a parent I thought that because I love my children so much, I am doing the best I can. I learned very fast that I need to take it beyond love.

Whenever I was lazy and just wanted to sleep I agreed for one more book to read. Sometimes, I even felt like I do not have much love left in me. I hated to play after a sleepless night. I never enjoyed changing the diapers while the toddlers are flipping and running away. But I nurtured my children and trained my patience everyday. They made me a better person.

Giving them patience, quality time and good example become our priority. Creating a better future for them was our goal. Love and cuddles is not enough.

Marriage

In marriage, we learn that long-lasting relationship is built on much more than love. In the nights when I was depressed and crying for days, my husband was beside me. When the whole family was down with sickness, we took care of each other, no matter how disgusting that was.

The next important value is passion. When years are passing, our bodies are getting old and boring. People often look for adventures outside of marriage. But the strongest relationship will find passion despite the passing years. I am always shocked that we are almost five years with my husband and we still got it in us! It is all about the right match.

Finally, being on the same wave makes us better partners for life. Besides love, we should also match in beliefs and maturity. Me and my husband are great team because we both want the same thing in life. We both wanted to get married and travel. We have our own goals and we want to raise children in the same way. It makes us much stronger.

Friendship

Friendships don’t last forever either. Like every relationship it requires commitment. In hard times many friends disappear. They don’t want to take the extra effort to support us.

It happens most often once the kids are born. The fact that we don’t have what to talk about anymore, takes people apart. Best friends will always listen, even if the subject of the talking seems boring. Friends will support you when they don’t agree.  It is important to be there for each other no matter what life brings.

Your life

When we fall in love we often give up everything for it. Partners stoop exercising to spend more time together. When I got married it was hard to find the time for other activities because I gave all my efforts for the family.

But you also have your passions, goals, and needs. If the other person doesn’t help you fulfill it, then love won’t be enough. You should both improve yourself and feel happier when together.

Your life is short and blind love can often block you from doing things that are important for you. I am always grateful to my husband for letting me do my work. He always supported me, even when the time was hard and nobody else believed in me.

Another important thing to remember is that real relationship doesn’t expect anything in return. You can feel strong affection for someone but you let them blossom next to you.

Stay yourself no matter what.

Being happy

If you have to make huge sacrifices for the other person, maybe love is not enough. Because if you feel bad about yourself at the end, then it is not worth it. You deserve to be happy and there is another person in this world that will care for that.

Me and my husband always make sure that we are simply happy. Because if one of us is not happy than we cannot make each other happy either.

Self-care

Take the time to spend some time on your own. Your loved one will understand. Write a journal that will be only yours and no one else will read it. If you can take care of yourself first and be happy you will be able to take care of others too.

I love to see my best friend that is days away from me. I visit her sometimes because I need it for my own mental health. It is a little selfish to leave the whole family home while I enjoy the time with my friend. But it is my favorite part of self-care project!

Always remember that love is not enough. Take care of yourself, be happy and nurture all the relationships you care about.